I’ve Got Dirty Dishes in My Sink Too |The Bourbon Soaked Mom|

At work a few weeks ago I was on my lunch break writing down a list of all the things that needed to be taken care of at home. I ticked off your basic things such as laundry, dishes, mop the floors and clean out the fridge. Next I logged onto my email to compile a list of homework that needed to be completed before the end of the week. After I had written down all the necessary due dates in my planner, I thought about what time I needed to pick my kids up, what activities they had planned, if my eldest had completed his homework and wondered whether or not my youngest needed diapers and wipes taken to his daycare.My brain felt like it was going to explode. It was enough to make me want to absolutely curl up in a ball and die.

I lay awake at night and silently wonder to myself if I have gotten everything done that day that I could possibly get finished. Sometimes I sit straight up in bed with anxiety when I remember something that I’ve forgotten, or remember something that needs special attention.

A few months ago all of my worry and anxiety came to a head. While at my job, sitting and eating my lunch and thinking of all of the things I needed to get accomplished that week, I had a complete freak out moment. I collapsed. The stress got the best of me. My anxiety turned into panic and the panic overtook me in a wave so strong that it caused me to pass out completely. After being hospitalized for three days and undergoing a thousand tests, enough was enough. I had had it. No more.

I just want to say, for others out there like me, IT’S OKAY. Calm down. Breathe. We’re all just trying to make it.

The term “not enough hours in the day” is one that comes to mind when I think of my schedule. A 40 hour work week, raising two small children, keeping house, finishing up my bachelors degree (after three years as a SAHM) fitting in time to be a good wife, and managing time for myself is a major feat for me. Some weeks are better than others, while some weeks can be counted as complete nightmares. Most times I feel like I am failing more than I am accomplishing anything, but there is hope.

Let me tell you this. I’ve got dirty dishes in my sink too. I’ve went weeks without mopping my floors. I’ve got a laundry room that would both horrify you and send you into fits of laughter. You know why? Because sometimes I feel it’s okay to neglect your chores to just hang out with your kids. The time with my children while they are still children is very limited. I would rather them remember life with me as being a loving, and present environment than one where I’m always stressed about the house, or work.

I get that we are constantly reminded of the pressure to be perfect. We are constantly told that our homes should look like something out of Southern Living, that our children shouldn’t watch television and that if they aren’t writing novels by aged 7 we are failing as parents. Everywhere you turn it seems like someone is force feeding us a different set of expectations for Moms everywhere. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of having the perfect life, especially when the constant comparison is there.

 

I promise you, behind every beautiful Instagram photo is a meticulously carved image of untrue perfection. I promise you that even women who have the most beautiful and perfect outside image have chaos going on at home. I promise you that most Moms are tired, out of breath, caffeinated crazy women who want nothing more than a bath alone and time to watch what they want on television after a long day of pleasing everyone else.

To all the women like me who are battling a constant mound of dirty dishes, who get annoyed with all the toys laying around the house and who have dug dirty clothes out of the laundry and sprayed them with fabric freshener, this one’s for you. It’s fine that you haven’t read your children a bedtime story in a few days, they will live. It’s okay that your rug has cookie crumbs on it, or that you have sticky hardwood floors. It’s okay that you push that homework until the night before and then panic. WE are all doing fine. WE are all getting it done on our own terms. WE CAN DO IT. WE WILL DO IT.

Because we are Mothers and that’s what we do.

So if you’re not mod-podging your child’s pictures on to wooden blocks, or hand making their own hypoallergenic soap, don’t feel bad. Most of us aren’t either. Remember, most of us still have last night’s dirty dishes in the sink. A small price to pay for happy children.

10 Pieces of Truth I Want my Sons to Know |The Bourbon Soaked Mom|

Everyone tells me that boys are easy.

“Oh, you’ve got two boys. They are so much easier than having girls. No drama.”

Really? Because where I am sitting, boys have a lot on their shoulders. One day my sons are going to (if they so choose) be the head of a family, provide for their wives and children, enter the professional world and become successful fathers, husbands and providers.

That’s kind of a lot of pressure on myself and my husband to raise them to be decent, good, loving human beings. Let’s face it. I’ve met some not so great boys and even worse men along the way. I look at those examples as everything I want my boys NOT to be.

In the spirit of looking to the future, (my boys have birthdays coming up) I thought of some of the little things I want my boys to know as they get older. Thinking of them growing up is hard, but with a little bit of humor, and truth, this piece has been fun to write on a snowy Sunday morning.

1: Being the “good guy” is always better than being the “bad boy.” 

I’m not sure who made this a thing, but being a bad boy who gets the girl in popular culture is something I’m over. I get it, Danny was adorable in his leather T-Birds jacket and bad attitude, but now bad boy means something different.

“Girls love bad boys”. Eye roll. It’s 10-1 better to be someone in a position to get good grades, who people respect, and who is a compassionate, caring and worthy of someone’s time.

Please, for the love of God, don’t get swept up in this macho crap. When you’re four misdemeanors in, and your Daddy can’t get you out of MCR because you’re too far gone and the Judge throws the book at you, we’ll see how much you wanna be “the bad boy”. I will let you sit in jail and think of how stupid you were, trust me.

I’m telling you boys, I will bust your ass if you turn out like this.

2: That girl you’ll fall for in high-school will not be your soul mate. 

This girl, she’ll be beautiful and perfect and probably a wonderful girl. I’ll love her and welcome her into our family. She’ll be around for a while, maybe four years even. She isn’t your soul mate. I promise, there’s life beyond high school. She will find it and so will you. Please, don’t go thinking you’ve found the one when you’re 17. Don’t neglect your friends, or not go on senior trip because so-and-so isn’t going. Don’t only do things with her, and get so caught up in being someone’s boyfriend that you miss high-school, those years are so fun and you can’t get them back.

Now, if by some chance you prove me wrong and end up marrying this gal, I’ll be the happiest person on planet earth. IF….she meets my standards as a person, future wife and future mother of my Grandchildren. And that’s a very strong IF.

3: When in doubt, ALWAYS open the car door.

Ya’ll are little right now, but I am going to make sure you know the importance of being gentlemen. It’s a lost art that is really only intact here in the South because of Moms like me who stress it’s ever loving importance. You should always treat ladies with nothing less than the respect you treat me, your Mother. I don’t care how much you dislike someone, if she’s a lady you better be respectful, gracious and mindful of your manners. This means opening doors for old biddies, saying Yes Ma’m to the horrible teacher you can’t stand, and helping carry groceries out of Food City for anyone who is pregnant, has a thousand kids, or just needs your general manly help. Remember this.

4: Sports are fun, but I doubt you’re ever going pro. Sorry, honey. 

Sports are fun, but they are for recreational purposes only. I will always let my children play whatever they want to play, and never force them if they don’t want to. What I disagree with is being a stage Mom who believes ya’ll are gonna be D1 prospects by the time you graduate high-school. I know those chances are slim, and while I would love for that to happen for you guys and you all to make millions tossing around some sort of ball, it’s unrealistic. You will play for fun and fun only. No crazy soccer Mom stuff from me, I promise.

5: I don’t expect you all to be lawyers like your Dad. BUT, you’ll get some type of an education if I have to drag you every step of the way. 

Do I expect ya’ll to suffer through law school like your Dad? No. But I’ll say this, it’s very hard to make it in the world unless you have an education. There are plenty of options if “school just isn’t for you.” You will have some sort of education or educational training before I turn you loose in the world.

6: I know you’re going to try to sneak out, try alcohol, and run wild. You can’t outsmart me. I’ve done it all. 

Please. I’ve already scoped out which windows are accessible from ground level, and what doors open silently without so much as a creak. I know your sneaky tricks, trust me, because I was a sneaky trickster once myself. SPOILER ALERT: You can’t get anything over on me. You can’t fool me. You can’t come home with a mouth full of vodka and try to hide it. I WILL CATCH YOU. If you try to sneak out of my house, I will find you and embarrass you.

Like my Dad always told me,

“You can’t outs*** a bullsh*****.”

7: There will be a lot of times that you won’t particularly like your Dad and myself. I understand it. 

There will a lot times when you slam your door and curse my name. I promise you, everything I do is for your own good. I promise, you’ll get it one day when you have kids of your own and all you want to do is keep them in a glass bubble. When I tell you no to going somewhere, it’s because I know what you’ll do once you’re there. If I tell you that those friends you like so much are no good, it’s because they aren’t. Only a Mom has your best interests at heart.

8: The world is a big place, go explore. 

I want nothing more for you guys than to go out and explore. See the world. Do all the things I never did, see everything I never have. I would love for you to see life beyond this small town. Travel, see different countries, taste different foods, experience different cultures. Figure out what you want out of the world and go get it. Life is too short not to.

9: Never settle for anything, baby. 

Never settle for anything. Never. Never settle for crappy friends. A crappy life. A crappy job. Make your life yours, under your own terms and be sure that everything you have is what you want. Don’t stop until you’re completely happy.

10: Wherever life takes you, remember one thing. I love you and you can always come home. 

If you hit some bumps along the way, know that your rooms are still here and you can always come home, regroup and recharge. Complete with a home cooked meal and plenty of Dad jokes from your Father.


 

Maybe I’ll give this piece to the boys when they’re old enough to read. As it is, I’m writing about them like they are already grown up and about to leave me. (They are 2 and 4) It seems like I’ll blink my eyes and that time will be here.

I always want them to remember the importance of little things, because those little things are actually big things.

I hope they never lose sight of who they are, where they come from, and the importance of being kind, honest and genuine people who are just trying to make their way in the world.

We’ll file this one in the archives under “read later” and hope until then that these boys don’t kill me.

 

Red Velvet Pancakes Stuffed with White Chocolate |The Bourbon Soaked Mom|

Warning: These pancakes should be illegal.

redvelvet2

I got up this morning with over a foot of snow outside and felt sorry for myself. So what did I do? I made these freaking pancakes, in the midst of an intense diet I’ve been on that I just so happened to start via the beginning of an indefinite period of snow days. Diet = ruined.

With Valentines Day coming up, I decided to use the leftovers of my Holiday fudge ingredients to whip some Valentines Day-esque pancakes for my kiddos. Hope you guys enjoy this recipe, and the snow!

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of Standard Buttermilk Pancake mix
  • 1 1/2 cups water
  • 1/2 bag of white chocolate chips
  • 1 drop Red food coloring
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp half and half
  • Syrup (optional, seriously you really don’t need it)
  • Marsh-mellow cream (optional) 1 dollop
  1. In a large bowl, mix together pancake mix together pancake mix, water, cinnamon, and half and half.
  2. Stir until lumps are gone. Add 1 drop of red food coloring to chocolate chips in separate bowl. Stir.
  3. With a wooden spoon, fold white chocolate chips into mixture.
  4. Heat stove to medium-low heat. Grease/spray pan with oil.
  5. Cook pancakes around 1-2 minutes on each side depending on stove.
  6. Serve on plate with syrup, and top with marsh-mellow cream, or without depending on your sweet tooth.