My oldest son came into my life kicking, and screaming two and a half years ago, and has not stopped since. He fills my days with laughter, chaos, and tremendous fun. Some of the things he says and does are unbelievably hilarious. Wise beyond his years, sharp as a tack and never lacking in wit, he makes me belly laugh every single day.
One of the reasons people urged me to start writing this blog, was to hear more about Greyson’s exploits. I usually take to Facebook to rant about something he has done, or share something funny he has said. Folks that I do not even know, will come up to me in the store, and tell me they love reading about him. That makes me feel good, even if people are getting a laugh at my expense, at least they are laughing.
I have compiled a list of my favorite “Greyson-isms” to date. Some come from Facebook, some are just stories we like to tell on him. I hope you guys get a good laugh out of them, everybody needs something to brighten up a Monday!
- Kyle taught Greyson how to say “boobies” and it’s his new favorite word. He says it everywhere we go. Screams it in public places. I dunno. It’s hopeless.
- I’m so mad at Greyson! We were in the garage an I was putting a load of laundry in and when my head was turned he got in Kyle’s Nissan and shut the door!! I was in hysterics for at least two minutes before I saw his white head in the drivers seat acting like he was driving. I almost had a panic attack thinking he had been kidnapped!
- Morning sickness coma and Greyson is throwing books off my balcony. One day when he’s old enough I will be able to pay him back for all his meanness.
- G poured cold chicken “noonle” soup all over my bed and all over Bubby’s head. He told me Bubby was hungry and wanted to eat-eat. I may or may not send him to boarding school when he is old enough.
- Mopped all my floors upstairs. Looked back and G was pouring out baby powder and rolling in it like a dog. : / He told me “the bid help mommy clean.” Lol help me, this kid is out to turn my hair gray.
- It’s not a normal day at my house until one kid poops in the corner and the other vomits bananas on my freshly washed comforter. Just trying to get through my morning pot of coffee.
- G was doing something bad today, so I yelled his full name (Greyson Jeffrey Hall) and I told him to quit. When I do this, he knows he is in trouble. He turned around and pointed his finger at me and said, “No, Courtney, my name is the Bid.” Anddddd what am I supposed to do with that?
- Mom status. Leaf blowing with a two year old on your shoulders, naked, while he’s eating a hot dog. That happened to me today.
- There’s nothing like taking the commode off the floor and fishing out a flushed door stopper to make you feel like you’ve earned that “Dad” title.
- I walked in my upstairs sitting room (which is beside our kitchen) and G is laying sprawled out on the couch, naked as a jay bird, drinking a Pepsi. I didn’t give him a pop so I asked him what he was doing. He threw his hands up and said, “I ont know mama, I just had to. Captain Hook get it for me.” Normal.
- I told G that he could have anything he wanted for lunch today. He currently is having ham, ramen noodles and chocolate covered waffles. ???? Where is my application for mom of the year??
- You’ve gotta appreciate the brutal honesty of kids. G has told me everyday for the past three days that I have a big fat butt……: /…….I told him it was his and his brothers fault and that I didn’t care anymore. He offered me a papaw cookie (vanilla wafer) and told me it was “otay”.
- What in my two year olds mind makes him think it’s okay to pee in the storage compartment of his tricycle?? I swear I’m getting gray hair.
- The only man I’d ever let go naked and eat waffles in my bed is my two year old, and he’s taking full advantage.
- Greyson has had himself a big time today. Got to eat copious amounts of hot dogs, swim in the lake, see all the people he loves the most, and pee outdoors…..several times.
- G’s been eating my candles. He’s such a little creep. Came in my room with his grimy fingers and mouth smelling like hot apple pie. I told him he’d have to ride this one out, that I wasn’t calling poison control again.
- And we have the 2nd black eye in two weeks. Greyson tried to swan dive from the coffee table to the couch and miscalculated his athleticism. He’s currently nursing his wounds with chip-chips and papaw cookies (vanilla wafers).
- Most two year olds have reasonable requests; action figures, balls, movies. Mine is determined to get a backhoe, or a comparable piece of heavy equipment.
- I swear, I could be eating a big turd and just because I was eating it, Greyson would cry to have it. No wonder I’ve already lost all the baby weight, I never get to eat!
- just caught G blowing kisses to himself in the mirror and calling himself pretty boy. How hilarious. I guess vanity knows no age.
- I got woken up this morning by Greyson sneezing in my face, on purpose. I was so mad at him, and he was dying laughing. I got up to yell at him and he smacked me on the butt and told me to fix him some juice juice……Idk what I’m even supposed to say to that?
- Turns out getting G a “Jake and the Neverland Pirates” sword for Easter was a bad idea. I ended up with a busted mouth this evening and I actually cried.
- G just woke up and wanted some apple juice. When I handed him his sippy he dramatically kissed my hand and without saying a word, walked back to his room and got in bed. The kid has some serious style.
- G debuted a new song today. The title is “mo noodles.”
- G has used the bathroom in his potty like a big boy all day. He’s now currently naked in my great room, playing his guitar and singing his rendition of his original song, “I got a Bubby.”
Sorry the post is so long, but it was hard for me to choose. I just wanted to give ya’ll an idea of what kind of circus I live in on the daily. We have a really, really good time. I hope these gave you a good laugh and made your monday a little more bearable. Wishing everyone a good work week!